A Happy and Thankful Life

Just another day

It’s just another day. I kept telling myself that. Tried to not remind myself that I’m missing my favorite valentine. Last year, he surprised me at work with flowers. He knew how much I loved flowers but we couldn’t have them in the apartment because of his immune system. After his school observation, he rushed around downtown and picked up flowers and chocolate covered strawberries. This was the same gift from our first Valentines Day together. He had to drop off the flowers to me and it was such a sweet surprise. His smile was so big. In our world where he couldn’t always remember everything, he remembered when it counted.

This year, I focused on my work so I could block out the joy around me. That allowed me to block out my thoughts. I’m glad others can spend their evening with their loved one. I just miss mine.

I made it through work but as I headed home, it became even more apparent that I didn’t want to spend the night at home alone. I’m thankful that the group session was tonight. It may sound depressing but I wanted to spend the evening with people who understood my pain. People that understand that life isn’t the same without our partner. People that understand how we can be happy for others but still feel that distinct ache of loss.

For me, today was not a day for love. Today was just another day. Just one more day that I have to get through without J. That is my reality.



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