A Happy and Thankful Life

a glimmer and patience

As much as I try to avoid it and ignore it, the fact remains. I’m a far different person now, than I was 3 years and 10 months ago. Even more so in the last six months. It is more than just growing older and new life experiences. It is the pain and fear of waiting for yet another shoe to drop. It is miserable. I try hard to hide it, but I’m not very good at that – at least to those that were around me on a regular basis before.

There are moments that I feel that I’m getting a few steps closer to the person I was 7 months ago. As though I’m in control and ready to face the life ahead of me with a smile. There is that glimmer of who I was. But it’s just a glimmer and it comes and goes.

I’m thankful for this glimmer. It reminds me that I can get through this. I will never be the same. Nothing can change that. But things will get better. This is when I need my future self to write me a letter. As that’s not about to happen, I’m thankful for the blog writers that share their experience. They act as our future selves. They’ve lived it. They know that the pain doesn’t go away, but it does get better and the days are easier to get through.

I’m also thankful for the patience of those that work with me. They’ve seen me at my best and worst. Their patience, honesty and support has been vital. I’m not sure how people get through horrible situations without a supportive work family. I’m very grateful that I work with such great people.

(It’s been a rough evening and I wish I could elaborate more but I don’t have the energy.)



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